Critical Mass

As the bell in the Ferry Building Tower tolls 6 pm on last Friday of the month, a mass of bicycle enthusiasts gravitate toward Embarcadero Plaza. The group grows in size until they become a single unit, a critical mass, at which point drums beat, whistles and horns blow, and the group takes to the streets for a wild spontaneously directed ride that can last several hours. This past Friday, the party included about 150 cyclists, a group strong enough to dominate the street, if just for a little while, as bikers spend most of their time fending off angry motorists for a little space along the edge of the street.

However, Critical Mass obeys no rules as its sprawling pack of riders run red lights, cut across intersections and bring traffic to a standstill. The group is tailed by several police vehicles; I assume there to keep the peace, because they definitely weren't there to stop the pot smoking, drinking and pedaling, or blatant disregard for traffic rules.

I met one particularly festive cyclist, donning a costume he described as the "Nuclear Jesus," a statement in protest to US conflict with Iran. Nuclear Jesus, aka Eric Hansen, of Santa Barbara, said that he has been to Critical Mass several times, and also dresses up for other festivals, like when he was "Baby Jesus" at Burning Man last year. Hansen said that his costume at this Critical Mass was "a remake of an old stereotype," that he was "playing with a cultural icon," but didn't comment further. Hanen appeared to have already ingested much of his namesakes symbolic"blood," and also rode barefoot with a large wooden crucifix tied on his back.